TV Review: Blood Drive 1.4 “In The Crimson Halls Of Kane Hill”
By Dr. Zaius
Thursday, July 6th, 2017 at 1:00 pm
Blood Drive Season 1 Episode 4: “In The Crimson Halls Of Kane Hill”
Directed by James Roday
Written by Nina Fiore, John Herrera
Created by James Roland
Starring Alan Ritchson, Christina Ochoa, Thomas Dominique, Marama Corlett, Colin Cunningham, Andrew Hall, Darren Kent, Renee Castle Syfy
Air Date: Wednesday, July 5th, 2017, 10pm
Blood Drive is as in your face a show as you will get on television. Benefitting from its late night slot on Syfy channel, the show gets away with pay cable levels of blood and gore, and is already starting to rival Ash vs. Evil Dead for bloodiest good time you can have without actually killing anyone. Last time, we saw Arthur (Alan Ritchson) and Grace (Christina Ochoa) escape from Steel City, a post-apocalyptic industrial wasteland inhabited by a few scared human survivors and plenty of monstrous CHUD-like things called “Glimmers.” They managed to escape, and pulled off yet another miracle at the Blood Drive finish line (sorry Clown Dick). Meanwhile, Julian Slink (Colin Cunningham) was having some hilarious troubles with the network executives who want to take his death race to a larger audience. Cunningham chews the scenery as much as the engines in the cars chew human flesh. And Arthur’s partner, Christopher (Thomas Dominique), was being held captive by Aki (Marama Corlett). I’m not sure if he was being tortured or seduced in some 50 Shades of Grey sorta way. This week, Arthur and Grace attempt to rescue her sister from Kane Hill, but it looks like the inmates are running the asylum…
Check out my review for Blood Drive Episode 4 below.
“Smax Candy: You’d kill for one more taste.”
That’s the commercial we watch – a spoof of every medical side effect ad, only this time with the candy is packed with chemicals that make you go insane and murder people with gardening equipment. You’ll never guess what they’re feeding inmates at Kane Hill. Thanks to some handy work from The Scholar (Darren Kent), Arthur and Grace’s brain bombs are on the fritz so they skulk off to check her sister out. Alan Ritchson is such a stoic good guy, I feel he could’ve worked right alongside Sly and Arny in an 80s action movie. And Christina Ochoa… is it acceptable to say she’s just oozing with sex appeal? Well, I’m writing about Blood Drive, so I think that’s the intention.
“Happy Halloween!” – They’re greeted as they walk in.
Arthur: “You know it’s June?”
Of course, after noting that “there’s something off about this place,” they immediately split up. The inmates are murdering/torturing the doctors, and repainting the walls with feces and the floors with blood. We catch glimpses of Grace’s past through flashbacks, and find that she’s mostly responsible for her sister ending up there. Slink decides that for fun, he’ll send Rib Bone (Brandon Auret) after the two, as he has a vendetta against Barbie… I mean Arthur.
The subplot of Christopher and Aki’s bizarre seduction torture now gets it’s own subtitle; one that had me actually laugh out loud: Milkening of Christopher Carpenter. See, she needs his body fluids in case Heart Enterprises want to clone him. He is once again, clamped to a table naked with a big black rectangle covering his naughty bits. Their first kiss is not as romantic as one should be. And after that… how does Aki say it, “You want the best apple, you gotta pluck it straight from the tree.”
Back at the hospital and Arthur finds a nurse hiding out. She tells him the asylum was a testing ground for Heart, who used the inmates as lab-rats for Smax. Everything in the hospital in very reminiscent of Rob Zombie’s House of a Thousand Corpses, with some Day of the Dead mixed in. This is especially true for the final showdown between Arthur and Rib Bone that starts as classic 80s action, and ends in pure Romero style zombie horror.
The juxtaposition of the explosions in the finale is just the stuff of legends. All the little Grindhouse touches – the fake commercials, the complaint line, the RIP montage at the end are just some of the stuff that contribute to Blood Drive being one of the most must see shows on TV. My mouth literally was hanging open throughout the whole episode because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Everything just works because maybe better than any, this show knows its target audience, and screw everyone else. It’s a wonderful homage to the video nasties I used to peruse in the video store days. After my dad would catch me peeking through the red curtain, I found a home in the horror section. Blood Drive just fills me with nostalgia and I love every minute of it. Even my wife laughed at some of the dialogue… before walking out of the room.
Blood Drive will back with more sick shit you can’t turn away from next Wednesday night at 10:00pm ET only on Syfy..
Blood Drive 1×04 Promo “In the Crimson Halls of Kane Hill”
Blood Drive 1×04 “In the Crimson Halls of Kane Hill” Season 1 Episode 4 Promo – Arthur and Grace take a dangerous detour to a mental asylum in search of Grace’s missing sister.