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Obama Turns Heel At Inauguration; Hits Biden With A Pedigree
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VanDyke Brown   |  @   |  
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HeelObama Obama Trump Inauguration

In a shocking turn of events, beloved outgoing President Barack Obama turned heel today at the inauguration. He hit long-time friend and ally Vice-President Joe Biden with his Pedigree finisher before grabbing a mic.

The outgoing POTUS told the crowd to “stick it” and said “he was sick of trying to impress the fans.” Obama said, “All you people do is make me sick. Well, suck it, America.”

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Holiday Geek Gift Guide 2016: Cat Lovers
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VanDyke Brown   |  @   |  
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Holiday Cat Lovers Gift Guide 2016

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Black Friday left us — more or less — free from torrents of blood running red in our streets. As we move beyond the shopping hell that launched the holiday season, we can now focus on what it’s all about — giving people cool stuff. And while Christmas might have other meanings, that isn’t what this article is about. So without further ado, I’d like to list a couple of my personal suggestions to make the holidays substantially more holly jolly — especially if you have a cat… well, only if you have a cat, actually.

Here’s the 2016 Holiday Geek Gift Guide for Cat Lovers…

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Drunken Game Review: Schmovie
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VanDyke Brown   |  @   |  
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Schmovie

Getting trashed and playing board games with other 20- and 30-something-year-olds is my favorite part of adulthood. It’s really difficult to have a bad game night when friends, fun, and alcohol are involved – but it can happen. Luckily for me, I just played Schmovie, and with a game like that, there’s no chance for a bad night.

This is a pun-tastic romp focusing on creating movie titles from two random cards and a genre. Anything from like a romantic comedy about a two-timing ninja. Or a horror movie about a renegade Easter Bunny. The possibilities are only limited by how clever you are.

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A Definitive Guide To Obscure Action Movie Directors
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VanDyke Brown   |  @   |  
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Guide to Obscure Action Movie Directors

Movies are a business with many moving parts, and like Devastator, each part plays a key role. Whether it be producers (quasi-creatives and money guys), actors (dramatic, non-camera-shy guys and gals), gaffers (light guys), production assistants (beasts of burden), or even best boys (I make movies and still have no fucking idea), like a defective Jenga set – one bad piece can forever destroy a solid project. Like any good mafia crime family, there’s gotta be a boss; and at the head of the filmmaking hierarchy sits the director.

Directors are the president of the movie. Like a good dictator, they can make the final decision. When things go good and the movie rocks, they get to take all the praise. When things go bad, they’re either publicly mocked or have the option to pussy out and take a Smithee.

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‘Batman vs. Superman’ Adds Gorilla Grodd, Lobo, Zatana & More; The Rock Up For All Roles
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VanDyke Brown   |  @   |  
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Batman vs. Superman

Not content with just a World’s Finest storyline, DC and Legendary Pictures have announced the additions of even more characters to the already overpopulated Man Of Steel sequel, tentatively titled Batman vs. Superman.

The list, consisting of Captain Marvel, Martian Manhunter, Lobo, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner, Supergirl, Zatana, and Gorilla Grodd, is sure to be met with mixed emotions from fans.

Director Zach Snyder stated, “I mean, we already have Batman and Wonder Woman on board. So I was thinking that if we get these other guys in here too, we can skip making a whole bunch of movies and just go into Justice League next year. I mean, you know who these guys are from the comics. You don’t need a whole movie per guy. Why carry your eggs in several baskets when you just cram ’em all into one really awesome basket?”

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