By Empress Eve
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Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
It was announced earlier this month that Twilight star Kristen Stewart would be starring as Joan Jett in The Runaways movie, which focuses on Jett’s teenage years as guitarist for the all-girl rock band The Runaways. While the band toured the world, the girls — all underage — were considered “jailbait,” a stigma which interfered with their attempts for mainstream success back in the 1970s.
But there is, of course, a double standard: The 1970s and 80s saw plenty of rock songs about the lust for jailbait, seemingly making it acceptable to crone about the desire for underage teens.
Here are 7 rock songs with unapologetic lyrics that try to justify getting it on with jailbait, complete with audio.
Motörhead – “Jailbait”
Jailbait Age: undetermined, but still tied to her mother’s apron strings. Attempted Justification: She’s already backstage. Questionable lyrics: I don’t even dare to ask your age,
It’s enough to know you’re here backstage,
You’re Jailbait, and I just can’t wait,
Jailbait baby come on
According to Motörhead frontman Lemmy, if you’re backstage, then you’re fair game — no need for him to ask for identification.
Jailbait Age: 17 Attempted Justification: She’s old enough for Kip Winger Questionable lyrics: She’s only seventeen,
daddy says she’s too young,
but she’s old enough for me
Don’t ask me why the 27-year-old Kip Winger couldn’t get a chick his own age. Seriously, he was a young guy, why did he have to get involved with a 17-year-old who’s father is clearly not down with this. When I hear this song, I always wait for the final verse to come where the father pulls out his shotgun and chases Kip Winger with his pants down around his ankles off his property and away from his daughter — sadly, that verse never comes.
Jailbait Age: 16 Attempted Justification: Gene Simmons got to have her, can’t live without her Questionable lyrics: I don’t usually say things like this to girls your age,
but when I saw you coming out of the school that day,
that day I knew, I knew,
I’ve got to have you, I’ve got to have you
Singer/bassist Gene Simmons was 28 years old when he sang that he just had to have the 16-year-old Christine on this 1978 tune off KISS’s Love Gun. Apparently, the Demon thought his lustful professions were okay since, you know, he doesn’t usually say things like that to underage girls. Eventually, Simmons — who has a teenage daughter of his own now — said that he wasn’t singing from his own feelings, but that of a man in general who would act this way. Too bad it didn’t — and still doesn’t — come off that way.
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – “I Love Rock N Roll”
Jailbait Age: 17 Attempted Justification: He was playing Joan Jett’s favorite song on the jukebox Questionable Lyrics: The beat was goin’ strong
Playin’ my favorite song
An’ I could tell it wouldn’t be long
Till he was with me, yeah me
Ah, sweet justice! Here the then-24-year-old Joan Jett finally gets to use jailbait to her advantage with this song, which skyrocketed her career, making her one of the best known and most successful female rock artists ever.
Jailbait Age: 15 Attempted Justification: She’s already in a dirty, dirty magazine. Questionable lyrics: She’s only fifteen
She’s the reason, the reason that I can’t sleep
You say illegal
I say legal’s never been my scene
I was a little younger than 15 when this song — written by Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx — was released on the band’s Girls, Girls, Girls album. I’ll admit, after first hearing it, I totally thought it meant that I had a chance with Sixx. Nevermind that the girl in the song is basically an underage porn star, I totally skipped over that part (the mind thinks what it wants to think).
Jailbait Age: 13 Attempted Justification: He has her Mama’s permission Questionable lyrics: Jailbait you look so good to me,
jailbait won’t you set me free,
jailbait you look fine, fine, fine
and I know I’ve got to have you in a matter of time.
“Sad but true,” wildman Ted Nugent laments about the pretty youngster he has his sights set on. But in this tale, Nugent statutory rape is the least of his crimes, which include stealing cars and lady’s purses. In the end, as he’s getting hauled off in handcuffs, Nugent tries bargaining with the cop: “And I’ll share her with you.” Now that’s class.
Jailbait Age: undetermined Attempted Justification: She’s lucky to even touch him cos he costs too much as it is. Questionable lyrics: You’re too young and I’m too well hung
Tonight I’m gonna rock you
The ultimate heavy metal parody band, Spinal Tap took the jailbait concept to the max to show its absurdity by making the object of their affections a four foot tall girl who still has her baby teeth.
Kow about “Whiskey Bar” by the Doors. I mean seriously:
“Well, show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why
Show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find
The next little girl
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die”
Comment by Robert Saldana — December 17, 2008 @ 9:44 am
Interesting, but over in uk jailbait is 15 and under, 16 is ripe for the picking so, i knida like some of them songs!!!1
Comment by scrotumbagmonkeyflicker — December 18, 2008 @ 5:56 am
Interesting article. But it completely overlooks the fact that songs like this have been a rock-n-roll staple right from the beginning e.g. “16 Candles” “Teen Angel” and damn near any other so-called love song from the ’50s. I swear some of those have lyrics that would make Humbert Humbert blush.
Comment by acrimonious_mofo — December 18, 2008 @ 1:18 pm
Where’s My Sharona by the Knack?
“Such a dirty mind, I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind”
You got your eye on the cheerleader queenYou’re walkin’ her home from schoolYou know that she’s only seventeenShe’s gonna make you a foolYou know you can’t touch this stuffWithout money or a brand new carLet me give you some good advice young manYou better learn to play guitar
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Good list!
I’d add “Jailbait” by Black Oak Arkansas (“Jailbait, you look so fine/Don’t you know it’s just a matter of time,” and “You’re underaged and oversexed/There ain’t no tellin’ what’ll happen next”) http://www.dizzler.com/music/Black_Oak_Arkansas/Jail_Bait and “She Got To Move Me”: by Grand Funk Railroad (“Never should have told me she was only fourteen years old. How was I to know?”) http://www.metrolyrics.com/she-got-to-move-me-lyrics-grand-funk-railroad.html
Comment by Steve Elliott — December 16, 2008 @ 7:40 pm
Francene by ZZ Top.
“My Fancine just turned thirteen,
she’s my angelic teenage queen.
And I love her, she’s all that I want.
And I need her, she’s all that I need”
Comment by Smed — December 16, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
Kow about “Whiskey Bar” by the Doors. I mean seriously:
“Well, show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why
Show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find
The next little girl
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die”
Comment by Robert Saldana — December 17, 2008 @ 9:44 am
Interesting, but over in uk jailbait is 15 and under, 16 is ripe for the picking so, i knida like some of them songs!!!1
Comment by scrotumbagmonkeyflicker — December 18, 2008 @ 5:56 am
Interesting article. But it completely overlooks the fact that songs like this have been a rock-n-roll staple right from the beginning e.g. “16 Candles” “Teen Angel” and damn near any other so-called love song from the ’50s. I swear some of those have lyrics that would make Humbert Humbert blush.
Comment by acrimonious_mofo — December 18, 2008 @ 1:18 pm
Where’s My Sharona by the Knack?
“Such a dirty mind, I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind”
Comment by Jimmy — December 27, 2008 @ 7:42 am
Stray Cat Blues by the Rolling Stones
But it’s no hanging matter
It’s no capital crime
I can see that you’re fifteen years old
No I don’t want your I.D.
Comment by Fred — December 28, 2008 @ 7:56 pm
JOHN (COUGAR) MELLENCAMP”Play Guitar”
You got your eye on the cheerleader queenYou’re walkin’ her home from schoolYou know that she’s only seventeenShe’s gonna make you a foolYou know you can’t touch this stuffWithout money or a brand new carLet me give you some good advice young manYou better learn to play guitar
Comment by Nobody — July 20, 2011 @ 8:29 am