When GoDfather Dave3 suggested yesterday that the best Hulk of all might be Rainn Wilson, I immediately thought of a giant green Dwight K. Schrute from The Office. Terrified yet?
Of course, Dave3 meant the actor, but I like to pretend that Wilson and Schrute are one and the same. And I can see his point. Wilson’s proven himself convincing as both an ubernerd and a frustrated ball of rage. But why stop there? John Krasinski, a.k.a. Jim Halpert, was once considered for the role of Captain America, after all.
Below are a few other Dunder-Mifflinites who could step into roles within the Marvel universe.
1. Ryan Howard as Iron Man
This is an obvious one, right? I’m pretty sure Ryan already thinks of himself as Tony Stark. He’s got the substance abuse and the inflated sense of self down pat. Not to mention the staggering ambition, devil-may-care attitude, and lust for beautiful women. All he needs now is the money and, um, the brilliant scientific mind.
2. Michael Scott as Captain America
Krasinski may be the one who actually auditioned for the role, but Jim’s dry wit doesn’t jibe with Captain America’s gung-ho, do-gooder attitude. So for leader of men, I humbly submit manager Michael Scott. Is any boss in the history of bosses more unironically enthusiastic about the team than he is? Plus, the rest of the team is already used to taking orders from him. The Dunder-Mifflin underlings may roll their eyes at his ridiculous antics, but they’ll ultimately follow his lead. Even Stanley.
3. Pam Halpert (nee Beesley) as Sue Storm
What power could possibly be more appropriate for the meek receptionist than invisibility? Sue and Pam are both easy to underestimate thanks to their calm, sweet natures, but as they come into their own, they reveal themselves to be wily and tough. And if you think Pam can’t or won’t kick ass, think back to the time Michael dumped her mother.
4. Kelly Kapoor as Emma Frost
For one thing, Kelly would totally approve of Emma’s glamorous wardrobe, especially since she looks really good in white. Then there’s Emma’s ability to turn into a giant diamond — um, hello! Like Emma, Kelly’s a pretty, super-femme gal who can turn into a claws-out bitch from hell if you cross her. Or even if you don’t. Because also like Emma, Kelly’s not above using her feminine wiles or simple manipulation to get what she wants. And that’s why we love them.
5. Andy Bernard as Spider-Man
Wide-eyed, idealistic, and eager, Spider-Man’s one of the purest of the Marvel superheroes. Likewise, Andy’s at his most charming when he’s being naively romantic. He’s also (spoiler alert for the Season 6 finale) the whistleblower who alerts the press to shady dealings at Dunder-Mifflin’s parent company — a total Peter Parker move. Though it is worth noting that when Andy lets out his evil side, he punches through the wall. When Peter Parker goes dark, he styles his hair like Pete Wentz and goes to lame nightclubs. Wait, which one’s got the superpowers again?
6. Jim Halpert as Namor
Only kidding! I just wanted to make you imagine John Krasinski in a pair of briefs.
7. Dwight K. Schrute as The Hulk
So, those are a few of our picks, what are some of yours?