With Pixar trying to ring the cash register again with Cars 3 next week, the gang at Screen Junkies decided to tackle the original 2006 film for their Honest Trailer. Solely based on the strength of the name Pixar, this movie somehow earned over $460 million worldwide. In full disclosure, I never saw Cars and never cared to. This was during the time where my younger sister was too old for kids movies, and I was yet to have kids so animation was kinda dead to me as a moviegoer. And when Cars 2 came out in 2011, all I ever heard about that one was, “it’s the worst Pixar movie ever.” Anyway, because… apparently someone demanded it, we’re getting a trilogy. So sit back and watch as narrator Jon Bailey shreds some of the lesser material in the Pixar catalog.

Check out the Honest Trailer below.

It doesn’t take Bailey long to realize he really doesn’t have much to say about the first Cars film. There is the question of whatever happened to all the humans… but we’ll worry about that later, because instead, let’s focus on Cars, the only Pixar movie to actually be “rotten” on the infamous critics’ site at only 39%. The movie made less money in the US, but made a ludicrous $560 million worldwide.

Before Finding Dory, the good movie about the main character’s annoying sidekick, there was Cars 2, the bad movie about the main character’s annoying sidekick, made especially worse because it’s 2-hours of Larry the Cable Guy as your main character! Look, I’ll admit I liked LtCG, but in nice 20-30 minute chunks. Bailey lays it on thick here. Why is the movie about Larry the Cable Guy’s Mater? Because he appeals to kids, and kids are dumb. And then in a moment of absolute glory by the Screen Junkies writers and Bailey’s epic voiceover; we get my all time favorite line in over 200 Honest Trailer videos. It comes after Bailey reveals the dark secret… Larry the Cable Guy with all his deep southern drawl is actually Dan Whitney from Nebraska. So you have Whitney pretending to be Larry pretending to be Mater… or as Bailey says;

“It’s like a turducken of fake idiots pretending to be bigger faker idiots.”

I don’t know what it was about it, but I laughed my ass off at that line. The video continues as Bailey goes off on a phenomenal tangent about the intricacies of Cars-world questioning everything from what cars eat and drink, to whether their make and model determine their roles in society to whether or not they have sex… and seriously what the hell happened to the humans!?!?

Starring… CARS… New Title: Money. That was short and effective. I really find it crazy that these two movies made over a BILLION dollars. Cars 3 is due out in theaters Friday, June 16th. Screen Junkies currently has over 6.1 million subscribers and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday.

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Honest Trailers – Cars

From the studio that brought you Ratatouille, Wall E, and Up, comes the movie that paid for all of them – CARS!