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Must Watch: Every Bone Steven Seagal Has Broken In One Video
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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If you’ve ever seen one of the many action movies starring martial artist Steven Seagal, you know the man is a cinematic legend when it comes to breaking bones. Countless bad guys have tried to dance with the scariest man with a ponytail, and many of them found themselves with at least one broken bone…if not much worse.

One of the true joys of the internet and YouTube era is that anyone with a little time on their hands can put together a montage of something great — certain memorable lines, amusing swearing, or exciting actions — and that’s exactly what Film Drunk did, putting together every broken bone that Mr. Seagal has ever been responsible for.

You know you want to see this; be sure to click on over to the other side now, to see the video.

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Movie Review: Machete
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BAADASSSSS!   |  
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Machete
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan
20th Century Fox
Release Date: September 3, 2010

Keep your cheesy horror flicks and interchangeable kiddy crap. I’m wrapping up my movie going summer basking in the glory of the mightiness of Machete, a movie that by all accounts should not even exist. It started out as an idea for a movie Robert Rodriguez intended to build around the unique talent and looks of his frequent collaborator Danny Trejo, a reformed ex-con who got into acting in 1985 with a small part in the underrated action classic Runaway Train with Jon Voight and Eric Roberts. Trejo is a guy who has lived more lives than cats typically are born with and has always survived to tell the tale, usually on his face. He’s also got that awesome chest tattoo of a rather sexy woman that always seems to make its way into Trejo’s movies. Even if he’s in a scene that doesn’t require him to bare his chest somehow, someway, that tat is making a cameo appearance. Trejo has appeared in most of Robert Rodriguez’s films since 1995’s Desperado, a quasi-remake/sequel to the director’s ultra low-budget 1992 debut El Mariachi. During filming Rodriguez was inspired to create a lead role in a future action epic for Trejo to play, and thus the seed of Machete was prematurely ejaculated, and the waiting began.

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SDCC 2010: Action Stars Assemble At ‘The Expendables’ Panel
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Week of Geek: San Diego Comic Con International 2010

SDCC 2010: The Expendables panel: Sylvester Stallone 02A panel for Sylvester Stallone‘s action overdrive movie, The Expendables was held early on at Comic Con 2010. This is one of the movies that you’ve likely seen a ton of times via TV spots and trailers that have been released over the past few months. The Expendables brings together a who’s who of action stars in an attempt to reclaim the beauty and brutality that were the action films of the ’80s, and nothing could sound more exciting.

The panel — moderated by Ain’t It Cools’ own head geek, Harry Knowles — featured Stallone, who wrote, directed, and starred in the movie. He was joined by Terry Crews, who offered up a little Old Spice P-P-P-P-P-P-POWER! by ripping his shirt open when he came out, Dolph Lundgren, UFC legend Randy Couture, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Bruce Willis, who peeked in for a few minutes having been there already for the RED panel. A cameo by a cameo actor — how perfectly fitting.

Because the movie has been known for so long, not a lot needed to be said. The panel was really just a chance to get an awesome collection of action stars out there to chat a bit about the movie, making it, and other things.

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First Official Trailer For Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Machete’ Released
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Machete

The first official trailer for Robert Rodriguez‘s grindhouse flick Machete has safely landed on the internet. The movie was born from Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s dual-effort, Grindhouse, where Machete made a cameo as one of the many faux trailers used to set the tone as an old school double feature.

The movie is co-directed by Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, and tells the story of a Mexican Federale gun (or blade)-for-hire who’s brought in to do a job that turns out to be a major setup. Eventually he recovers and sets off for bloody revenge. What more do you need than that, really?

Continue on over to check out the trailer now.

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Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Grindhouse’ Spinoff ‘Machete’ Grabs A Huge Cast Including Robert De Niro!
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The Movie God   |  @   |  
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Machete

When the Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino co-directed Grindhouse was released, it was something of an event. Two movies released together and jam-packed with mock trailers, all the for the price of your normal movie ticket. Of the many faux trailers that were created, two of them have always been rumored to be getting feature-length treatments: Rodriguez’s Machete, and Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving.

At the moment, it appears that both of these movies are on their way to us: Roth has plans for filming the minuscule $5 Million budget ultra-horror movie in tandem with his new large budget science fiction movie, while Rodriguez and his co-director Ethan Maniquis now have quite the cast in place for Machete.

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DVD Review: Driven To Kill
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Dr. Royce Clemens   |  
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Driven to Kill Blu-ray DVDDriven to Kill
Directed by Jeff King
Starring Steven Seagal
Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Release Date: May 19, 2009

If people in Hollywood were wise (and with rumors of a Guitar Hero movie on the horizon, there is no reason to believe they are), Steven Seagal‘s long, precipitous fall from grace would be utilized as a horror story for young actors: a hefty, pony-tailed boogeyman toiling under the beds of these hair-gelled sissies they call movie stars nowadays.

“See that, young Shia? That’s what happens when you act like a dick and defy men such as I!”

“Jesus! I’ll do whatever you say, Mister Katzenberg! I’ll do whatever you say! JUST DON’T PUT ME IN A MOVIE WITH DMX AND TOM ARNOLD! I’M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!”

Fifteen years after his prime, Seagal is still breaking wrists, throwing people out of windows, and running like a goddamned girl without any hint of irony or self-effacement. Only now it’s in Straight-To-DVD Land, where the least amount of collateral damage occurs.

In truth, I looked at the apparently thriving Seagal DVD market like I looked at the fur trade: I know it’s going on, and I know I vaguely don’t approve, but it doesn’t really have any bearing on my life. So let bygones be bygones for whomever is into that kinda thing.

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Contest: Steven Seagal ‘Driven to Kill’ DVD Giveaway
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Dave3   |  @   |  
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Driven to Kill Blu-ray DVD“They took his daughter. So he’s taking them down.”

Haven’t any of these thuggish gangs of ne’er-do-wells learned from his previous movies? Simply put: Do Not Mess With Seagal! He will come for you. He will hit you with fists, feet, elbows, knees, pool cues, concrete blocks, and bullets… lots and lots of bullets… and feet.

And when Steven Seagal ask you to give away a few DVDs of his new movie Driven to Kill… you say YES! So, get your contest entry fingers ready to fly, my geeks, because we got ’em and we’re givin’ ’em.

I’ve got it on good authority that if you don’t enter Steven will be paying you a visit. So.. let’s go go go!

Three (3) winners will receive:

  • One (1) copy of Driven to Kill on DVD

Check out the Steven Seagal checklist as well as a few video clips from Driven to Kill below after the jump.

Driven to Kill is available on blue Blu-Ray and DVD May 19th.

What do you have to do to get a chance to win? Glad you asked ’cause it’s really easy. Just make sure you’re a subscriber to our email digest, and then go ahead and fill out the handy dandy form below. Done.

Good luck!

TO ENTER: There’s just two simple steps: (1) Make sure you’re subscribed to the Geeks of Doom email digest. If you’re not then click here and sign up. (If you’re already a subscriber, then go right to the next step.) (2) Fill out the entry form here below and submit. (Form is here after the jump.)

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