Well-y, well-y, welly, well. It’s that time again! Time for my best blood, the soul-sucking, brain-eating, clock-watching, Time Zombie (Benedict Zombiepatch, if yer nasty), to make his way ’round to all those places that still abide by that antiquated old candle-saving trick of the clock: Daylight Saving Time!

I know you all think you’re moving your clock ahead for some logical, beneficial reason, but that just isn’t the case. Old Ben means to make a meal of you (so do I, but we’ll talk about that later), and if you don’t set your clock ahead, trouble’s a-comin’.

Aaaaaah, it seems as though one of you musical mobile meatsnacks went ahead and set my work-day to song with the sweet sounds of this compilation, Music for the Zombie Apocalypse.

I guess now it’s time us hobbling human-hunting halitosis humidors learn a few new dance steps. Well, to be honest all this shuffle-hop-step-drag-lurch nonsense was getting a bit boring anyhow. While you still have fingers and ears, clickety clack on over to Amazon and buy mp3 album for only $2.99 for a limited time (much like your lifespan) and enjoy the soundtrack to your demise.

Howdy breathers. Your old & rotten pal Obvious Zombie here, and have I got a meaty treat for you GoD readers! Get this. One of you meat sacks went and created a ZOMBIE-themed Tarot deck called The Zombie Tarot: An Oracle of the Undead. Maybe things have changed since my brain turned into gray goo, but from what I remember Tarot decks are used to tell the future. Yes? No? Maybe so?

Being the kindly monstrosity that you all know I am, I’m going to save you some time. Look deeply into my crystal baaaaall. I see you & I together. We’re out. For a nice bit of lunch, it seems. Hrmmm. Your future…it’s hazy. Wait. Oh, silly me. I see it now. We’re not *at* lunch. You *are* my lunch… Ha! I kid the living! But seriously though. That’ll be $50.

I’m sorry. I seem to go off message a lot ever since that dude in Walmart took a Louisville to my left lobe. DON’T WORRY! We were just playing a round of Catch You, Eat You. Contest. CONTEST! Right. We’ve got us a pretty special contest right here. Not only are we Geeks of Doom giving away FIVE copies of The Zombie Tarot: An Oracle of the Undead, but one Grand Prize winner will be getting their own personal tarot reading (via tele) from the author. All made possible by the quirky kooky zany crew at Quirk Books.

One (1) Grand Prize winners will receive:

• One (1) Zombie Tarot Set
• One (1) Personalized Tarot reading by the author via phone*

Four (4) First Prize winners will receive:

• One (1) Zombie Tarot Set

The fine folks over atTeam Unicorn have put together this quaint little video entitled ‘A Very Zombie Holiday’. They packed it chock full of tender morsels concerning how to survive a holiday zombie attack, such as locking your doors and arming your children.

Funny, but foolish, you humans be.

You can watch the video here below, but let’s face it, deep down you all know there’s actually no real way to ‘survive’ against a zombie incursion.

Oh how I love a good resurrection!

In news that is catching the undead world by storm, it was announced today that through the use of advanced science and with the help of a few pages from the Necronomicon, Alfred Hitchcock, famed director of Psycho and The Birds, has been brought back to life. Now, you would think a director of this caliber would have a ripe choice of projects to pick from, but his dark Hollywood overlords have decided for him, putting him behind a big-screen version of The Walking Dead as his comeback [to life] picture. This comes as even a bigger shock than the undead returning to life, as The Walking Dead is already a fairly successful television series — even with its unnecessary and unprovoked violence towards innocent zombies.