The 2019 New Jersey Horror Con and Film Festival will return to its now-established home at the Showboat Hotel on the Atlantic City Boardwalk later this month from October 11th – 13th. The semi-annual event is put on by Ryan Scott Weber and Comic Book Men producer Rob Bruce. They have outdone themselves this time with a huge guest list, a 3-day film fest, and tons of panels, Q&As, and other fan friendly events. With Halloween in season, you’ll definitely want to make it out to Showboat this Columbus Day weekend.

Hola queridos lectores! That means, “Hello dear readers.” Gotta special little treat for you today. The first trailer for Machete Kills is now live and in full, lurid color.

You can check it out here below.

Director Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo introduce the trailer in Spanish and the narrator speaks the same language throughout the trailer, but fret not you proud hablantes de inglés because the rest of the trailer doesn’t require a Babel fish in your ear to understand. It’s a surprisingly bloodless preview, but Rodriguez is still bringing the crazy like gangbusters. A little violence here, some very pretty women there, and it’s all rounded off by a special appearance by Charlie Sheen as the President of the United States. He’s credited as “Carlos Estevez,” which all of you trivia buffs will recognize as Sheen’s birth name.

It has been three years since Robert Rodriguez turned his Grindhouse mock 70’s-style Mexploitation trailer Machete into a full-blown feature film that finally gave Danny Trejo, owner of one of the most unique movie star faces in the world, a starring role. Despite having only $10 million, Rodriguez nabbed a galaxy of rising stars and faded stars to back up Trejo and a fistful of positive reviews from B-movie geek fans and critics alike.

Machete earned over $14 million at the box office in its first weekend, but its earning potential quickly plummeted afterwards and by the time it left theaters, the movie had a total gross of $26 million. The end credits promised a forthcoming duo of insane sequels and since the original was profitable enough to warrant one so far, Rodriguez soon found himself at the helm of Machete Kills.

Each and every one us has seen many sights that take up permanent residence in our minds, memories so horrible and traumatic we would do anything short of self-lobotomy to remove them forever. Walking in on your parents having sex, having to take your beloved ailing family pet to the veterinarian to have them put to sleep, getting bullied by your classmates in elementary school, the list goes on (and that is just my list).

Today I think we all have a new horrible memory to add to that list as the trailer for Scary Movie 5 has been released. You can watch the trailer here below, but if you decide not to no one here will think less of you.

We all have to grow up some time and former Spy Kids star Alexa Vega has been doing a lot of growing up recently. She stars in Robert Rodriguez‘s Machete Kills as a femme fatale-like character named Killjoy – seems appropriate for this kind of movie. While she previously posted a picture of herself before shooting her scene, the photo below is the first official image of her on set.

Check it out the photo here below, and make sure your boss or significant other isn’t around (no, no there is no nudity).

Vega is now 24, and obviously she has really grown up to be a very sexy mature young woman. Hard to believe that she was that young child in those silly Spy Kid films. She revealed the new image of herself on her instagram account.