The Spy Who Dumped Me
Blu-ray | DVD | 4K
Directed by Susanna Fogel
Written by Susanna Fogel, David Iserson
Starring Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Sam Heughan, Justin Theroux, Hasan Minhaj, Lolly Adefope, Dustin Demri-Burns, Gillian Anderson
Lionsgate Films
Rated R | 117 minutes
Release Date: October 30, 2018

It’s Audrey’s (Mila Kunis) 30th birthday and everybody keeps asking her about her ex Drew (Justin Theroux), which after a myriad of mixed emotions, causes her to set his things on fire, with the help of aggressive nudging from her best friend Morgan (Kate McKinnon). Drew is very busy of course being almost killed in Lithuania almost 100 times.

Enter Sebastian (my #1 boyfriend Sam Heughan), who lures Audrey outside and into a van to tell her about Drew’s secret life as a CIA agent. Everybody is looking for this trophy which needs to get to Austria to “Verne” by tomorrow. Drew shows up, there’s a shootout, and he dies.

Hellraiser: Judgment
Blu-ray | DVD
Director: Gary J. Tunnicliffe
Screenwriter: Gary J. Tunnicliffe
Cast: Heather Langenkamp, Randy Wayne, Rheagan Wallace, Paul T. Taylor, Damon Carney
Distributor: Lionsgate
Not Rated | 81 Minutes
Release Date: February 13, 2018

Hellraiser: Judgment is the 10th (!) film in the horror franchise, a series that once dripped of promise. The original film, which celebrated its 30th birthday last year, was written and directed by Clive Barker, adapted from his own novella The Hellbound Heart. The original quickly became a horror classic and spawned a great sequel in Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), and subsequently two more theatrical sequels, each with diminishing returns. The series fell into direct-to-video territory as the new millennium arrived, but at least iconic Doug Bradley remained as lead Cenobite, Pinhead. That was until the awful 2011 Hellraiser: Revelations, a film which Bradley passed on, made solely to keep the Hellraiser property at Dimension Films.

Hellraiser: Judgment debuted a pretty cool trailer and looked a lot more promising than what Hellraiser fans have come to expect from this once great franchise. Gary Tunnicliffe, an acclaimed makeup and effects wiz, wrote several Hellraiser shorts before scripting Revelations, and now serves as a jack-of-all-trades on this one. Judgment debuted on Blu-ray and digital last week, and while not a great film, it far surpasses Revelations, as well as the other direct-to-video sequels.

More below.

The theatrical release of Lionsgate’s testosterone-heavy summer action epic The Expendables 3 isn’t scheduled for another three weeks, but that hasn’t prevented the finished film from being leaked online to various torrent sites.

According to Variety the leaked copy of the Patrick Hughes-directed sequel currently in circulation was taken from a DVD screener and downloaded almost 200,000 times around the world in a 24-hour period. That number is expected to increase as the official release of the film approaches.

It’s a great day to be a Netflix subscriber.

The company has signed a joint deal with subscription-based television service Epix to bring films from Paramount Pictures, MGM, and Lionsgate to their “Watch Instantly” streaming service 90 days after they’re released to DVD, New York Times reports.

A common complaint some subscribers currently have with Netflix’s online offerings is that the library is often filled with older and classic films that might not always satisfy hyperactive movie buffs. The deal with Epix plans to change that considerably as summer blockbusters like Iron Man 2, How to Train Your Dragon, and Kick-Ass will all appear in the Instant category much sooner.

Born
Directed by Richard Friedman
Starring Alison Brie, Denise Crosby, Kane Hodder
Lionsgate Films

When I was a very young lad, a very wise cartoon rabbit once said “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Now, perhaps it was because I was at an impressionable age or maybe it was because it came from the mouth of a talking rabbit, but I have taken this little piece of advice to heart. However, after watching Born, I think I might have to break this rule just one time.

Born is a horror-comedy film about virginal Sally who, after attending the funeral of her mother, is mysteriously pulled into the ground at the cemetery. When she comes out of the ground, she is suddenly pregnant. The unexpected little bundle of joy turns out to be a demon that is hell-bent on entering our realm and wrecking her life in the process.

There are many things wrong with this film. For one thing, while it is suppose to be a horror/comedy, it is neither very scary nor is it very funny. It tries too hard to be both and ends up, more often than not, striking out. I just sat there for an hour and a half just bored. Very bored. You know a movie is just really bad when two straight female characters hook up right in the middle of the movie for no apparent reason. Then one of the women’s unborn fetus kills the other woman (Don’t ask)